wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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