I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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