when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just google imaged poop.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
