Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize