Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
my poor anus
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
