i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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