Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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