just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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