yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize