Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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