nut hugger
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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