haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
