I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
