If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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