real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
