I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
