omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
