Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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