things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
