I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
