I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
