how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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