the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize