That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
