It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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