Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
