Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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