I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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