So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
