Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I faked an abortion last night.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
