was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
