Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
