im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
