if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Gay?
German.
Pity.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize