i was born a porn star she said
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
