Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
