Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
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