I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
