So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
