do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
