Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
