You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
