Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
