I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
