i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I AM VODKA MAN
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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