i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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