Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
