so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
