do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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