Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
