I didn't shave. On purpose
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think my moral compass just broke
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