i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
