Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
