I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
