I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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