meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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