scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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