If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He shit in the fireplace
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
