dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
