dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
