laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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