I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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