There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
