I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
