I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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