Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize