i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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