Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
