Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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