Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
