left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
