"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
