I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
