How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
