on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
