Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
