im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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