I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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