i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
