Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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