she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
